NFL Draft 2017: The Brownsiest.

One year ago, I attended the Cleveland Frowns’ Draft Party at the Map Room. Surrounded by my favorite degenerates, drinking vodka sodas like my life depended on it. My only regret was not ordering a pizza to help sop up the liquor. I had no illusions the 2016 draft would cure my beloved Browns. We had RGIII and with him, we could draft some QBs in later rounds to develop. I was unphased when the Browns traded down and similarly apathetic when we used our number fifteen pick for Coleman. Continue reading “NFL Draft 2017: The Brownsiest.”

Blood Sugar Problems: My euphemism for gestational diabetes.

My pregnancy, until a month ago, has been blissfully uneventful. There are so very many tests but, tests have always been a friend of mine. Much like my many years in the educational system, I passed each test with flying colors…until I didn’t. I could have guessed this about myself, but have never had to really face it until now – I suck at failing. Low Vitamin D levels, fine. Iron deficiency, I can work with that. Low lying placenta, there’s still time and nothing I can do about that. Failed my one-hour glucose test, that’s okay, I barely failed, I’m sure the three-hour will clear me. Failed my three-hour glucose test, which meant I had gestational diabetes. Insert record scratch here.

Continue reading “Blood Sugar Problems: My euphemism for gestational diabetes.”

This Week’s Favorites: Raindrops on Roses.

A few favorite things from this week:

Reena’s “Saturday Mornings” Playlist: It is possible to assemble IKEA furniture with you spouse and have go simply and smoothly. Quickly may never be in the picture. I think one of the reasons this has yet to incite a riot in our household is because we set the stage with wonderful and calming music. That’s where this playlist comes in. It’s like staying in one place but letting your ears go on vacation.

Continue reading “This Week’s Favorites: Raindrops on Roses.”

Three times a week: Or once a month.

If a pregnant woman blogs, does that make her a mommy-blogger?

I hesitate to write because I am so full of excuses. Time passes regardless. Whether I document my human experience are not. It’s quite cruel.

As someone who never imagined themselves having a child for so long, I find it difficult to admit how smitten and happily inundated I am with this whole situation. The idea of creating a tiny amalgamation of Nick and I is absolutely charming. To have someone else to follow around the house will be a huge relief to Nick and our cat. As someone who has struggled with body image, I have found strength in adoring my inflating abdomen.

Continue reading “Three times a week: Or once a month.”

The Halfway Point: Havinababyitsaboy

Over halfway through my pregnancy and Little Baby Mesha is the size of an endive, a pomegranate, a least weasel, or a bottle of Jagermeister, depending on which gas station he’s leaving. Just kidding; it’s depending on whatever app or baby Pinterest board you check. Continue reading “The Halfway Point: Havinababyitsaboy”

My pregnancy is not a performance: Act I

Being pregnant is complicated. Being anything is complicated. I never thought about being pregnant. Not even a little. I thought about what it would be like to be a parent, what it would be like to not be a parent. I have spent a majority of my life envisioning myself as never having children. Much less being pregnant. If I wanted kids, I would need to be pregnant. If I didn’t want kids, I did not get experience pregnancy. Relatively simple.

Honestly, it is incredibly difficult for me to even write about being pregnant. I struggle with it from so many different perspectives. The first of which being my belief that my pregnancy is not a performance. Continue reading “My pregnancy is not a performance: Act I”