It’s hard to read what you’ve written over a decade ago and be sure it is more witty, fearless, and fun than anything you could produce at this moment. To read what you wrote when you were unattached, ignorant, and for all intents and purposes, fearless. To realize you now live in the shadows of social media voyeurism. It’s like being on the outside looking in at what you once had and think you’ve lost. I was once so in love with myself I wanted to document my every thought, lyric, quote, and poorly put together outfit. I miss that blind self-love. That misguided narcissism. I remember writing I wanted to change the world and believed I could. Where does belief like that go? Does it get buried under social norms? Fossilized under the pressure to be likable? Obliterate by the desire to blend in? Continue reading “Writing: One word at a time.”
**Warning for explicit language & skin. I refuse to call anything to do with pregnancy and birth, gross, because it’s not. It’s beautiful and one of the coolest things humans can do. That being said, if bodily fluids are not your thing, this is not for you.** Continue reading “Harlow: A birth story.”
35 days into motherhood and I’m counting down the next 65 until we are out of “darkness” or “the fog'” or “whatever one might call this time when you have a baby that is completely helpless and just cries all the time”. Continue reading “Motherhood: It is what I thought it was.”
One year ago, I attended the Cleveland Frowns’ Draft Party at the Map Room. Surrounded by my favorite degenerates, drinking vodka sodas like my life depended on it. My only regret was not ordering a pizza to help sop up the liquor. I had no illusions the 2016 draft would cure my beloved Browns. We had RGIII and with him, we could draft some QBs in later rounds to develop. I was unphased when the Browns traded down and similarly apathetic when we used our number fifteen pick for Coleman. Continue reading “NFL Draft 2017: The Brownsiest.”
My pregnancy, until a month ago, has been blissfully uneventful. There are so very many tests but, tests have always been a friend of mine. Much like my many years in the educational system, I passed each test with flying colors…until I didn’t. I could have guessed this about myself, but have never had to really face it until now – I suck at failing. Low Vitamin D levels, fine. Iron deficiency, I can work with that. Low lying placenta, there’s still time and nothing I can do about that. Failed my one-hour glucose test, that’s okay, I barely failed, I’m sure the three-hour will clear me. Failed my three-hour glucose test, which meant I had gestational diabetes. Insert record scratch here.
A few favorite things from this week:
Reena’s “Saturday Mornings” Playlist: It is possible to assemble IKEA furniture with you spouse and have go simply and smoothly. Quickly may never be in the picture. I think one of the reasons this has yet to incite a riot in our household is because we set the stage with wonderful and calming music. That’s where this playlist comes in. It’s like staying in one place but letting your ears go on vacation.
If a pregnant woman blogs, does that make her a mommy-blogger?
I hesitate to write because I am so full of excuses. Time passes regardless. Whether I document my human experience are not. It’s quite cruel.
As someone who never imagined themselves having a child for so long, I find it difficult to admit how smitten and happily inundated I am with this whole situation. The idea of creating a tiny amalgamation of Nick and I is absolutely charming. To have someone else to follow around the house will be a huge relief to Nick and our cat. As someone who has struggled with body image, I have found strength in adoring my inflating abdomen.